Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
