I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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