I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
