so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
