We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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