Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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