I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But break dance skills will only take you so far
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
