I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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