I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
