He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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