Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
