no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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