If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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