i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize