I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
