hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just had sex bonerless
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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