Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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