East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
