Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
