At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
