Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize