I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize