So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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