I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
