I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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