I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
