It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize