Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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