ugly people sure do ruin things
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
