I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
