Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
