u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
where are my eyebrows?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
