I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
