it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
