I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
