my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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