Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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