Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
