Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
