So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
