hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
