is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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