Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
