i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I could fuck to npr.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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