Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
