I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
