I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
