Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
