Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
