good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
