have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
How external is "for external use only"?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
