how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize