ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Terrible idea I love it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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