My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
