carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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