i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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