Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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