My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
