We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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