What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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