i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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