Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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