Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
