I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Everything about him screamed your future.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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