So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize